OTHER LOVES by Bola Olu-Jordan
‘Other love’ is anything that come in-between couples or receives more priority other than the spouse.
It is anything, living or non-living, that has occupied the time, heart, desire and plans of either of the couple.
It may not necessarily be another woman or another man.
Unfortunately, many engage in it ignorantly, out of share traditions or as a way of life.
It is easy to know what this ‘other love’ is in your life:
What do you enjoy doing more than being with your spouse?
Some of them are:
To many, their parents come before their spouse, but not to God.
God is a God of order not of zeal or emotions.
Your greatest responsibility to your parents in your home is to Leave them!
and your responsibility to your spouse is to Cleave (Gen 2:24).
Many however leave their spouse and cleave to their parent.
To them, their parent comes first. But in marriage, after God, it is your spouse!
Your mother or father also comes first in his or her home, not in yours.
Other love ruins marriage, whether you mean well or not.
Children occupy the heart of many couples more than their spouse.
This is because they have either lost or traded their first love (spouse) for their children’s.
Don’t forget that your children are not yours per se; they belong to someone else, i.e., their future spouse.
You are custodians; helping the future spouse take care of him or her pending the appointed time.
When they become ‘other love’ to you, (i.e. putting them in your spouse’s place), you will not be able to release them when the time comes.
While destroying your home, you will also be destroying the child’s home.
Children have their place in home; they are fruits, meant for others to harvest and go,
But the tree (spouse) abides forever, till death do them part.
Inordinate passion for books, T.V., movies / films, church activities, extended families, games, computer, traveling, sports, work, children, even ministry, etc.
As good as these are on their own, they must not come before your spouse.
To some very religious or spiritual people, it is church programs, prayer meetings, night vigils, Bible, ministrations, etc.
To workaholics, it is office, seminars, files, travels, my boss, phone calls, etc.
To some mothers, it is kitchen, dishes, cooking, washing, cleaning, etc.
To some fathers, it is newspaper, news / sport on T.V, friends, business, etc,
To others, it is themselves alone. They are married to themselves.
All these are other loves as long as it gives you more comfort than being with your spouse.
It always starts small, but grows to become an unnoticed monster!
Just like extra marital affairs in marriage, it brings:
undue suspicion, bitterness, feeling of neglect and abandonment, jealousy, tension, curses and even death!
You must take a decisive action against it by repenting and forsaking it.
You must also restitute by making amend, i.e., going to your partner and in action say you are sorry.
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