Due Benevolence by Bola Olu-Jordan
Text: 1Cor. 7:3-5: “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency”.
What is Due Benevolence?
Due Benevolence has two meanings: (1) a General meaning and (2) a Technical meaning.
1. The Greek Word for Due Benevolence is Eunoia, which is a combination of two words, eu and noia. Eu means = Good; while noia means mind. So Eunoia (Due Benevolence) means Good-Mind
- It also means good thinking, or ability to think before you act.
2. Other translations for Due Benevolence:
- The BBE Translation calls is ‘what is right’
- GNB Translation calls it ‘duty’
- ASV calls it ‘Dues’
- Other translations call it what is ‘owed’ and yet others used the term ‘what is appropriate’ or ‘what is acceptable’.
Summarily, Due Benevolence mean
- Husband and wife having a good mind towards one another to paying their dues (vows and promises) or what they owe each other (1Cor.7:4).
- Ability for husband and wife to think before they act
The Question is: What do you owe your spouse?
Below are some of the things that husband and wife owe one another:
1. COMPANIONSHIP: Gen 2:24. Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife: and they shall be ONE flesh. Leaving + Cleaving = One Flesh (Mat.19:5-6): Companionship can only occur when leaving and cleaving are properly done. Some leave their parents, but don’t cleave to their spouse. It is not only good to leave, its important to cleave. Leaving without cleaving cannot bring companionship.
When there is cleaving then Eph.5:28 will be in force.
2. COMMUNICATION: Good Communications make good manners. Communicate your commendations and frustrations lovingly. Salty food. Dirty rooms
1Cor.15:33: Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.
Express your love. Say words. Sing. Compose Poems
3. COMMUNION/FELLOWSHIP: Spend time together, kitchen, sitting room. Those who pray together stay together. Discuss church message, bible verses
4. COMPASSION: for better, for worse. Be there in sickness and health. Thick and thin.
5. Romance / Affection: You don’t have power over your body. Defraud. (1Cor.7:4-5).
Women respond to touch, men to look. Women need to be prepared long time, no sudden action. Don’t be in a hurry when together with a woman. Foreplay, main play, after play.
6. CONTENTMENT/ COMMITMENT: Prov. 5:19. Let her breast satisfy thee. Appreciate her with children, kitchen, house chores. Be content with who your spouse is and what you have. Do everything with passion. See each other’s vision. Number of children, their school, settlement, land, car
7. CARE / GENTLE: in words. Avoid rape. Fragile, handle with care
1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.