BECOMING A BETTER FATHER by Bola Olu-Jordan
QUALITY TIME: Spend quality time with your children. The amount of time you devout for them shows how valuable you are to them. Give yourself to them. Play with them. Be happy around them. Don’t let them see you as a terror or feel uncomfortable when you are with them; rather give them a sense of security around you. Always listen to them. Hear their ideas, don’t hush them down or holler on them. Tell the younger ones stories or poem and teach them songs. Sing together, pray together. Let them know you are interested and concerned with every aspect of their lives.
COMMUNICATION: Develop a healthy communication with your children. Build them to talk to you not only when things go well or wrong but at every time. Build their confidence and make them to be able to express their frustration, anger, resentment, etc to you. Let them be free to discuss with you without fear. Sound them out for their views and ideas. Always listen and respect their views. Correct them in love so that they will not recline.
TRAIN THEM: Training means teaching, instructing, guiding, correcting, leading and disciplining. Let your presence be felt at home in this area than that of the mother. Children without a father-figure may become delinquent. You must rise up in correcting with a strong, serious yet loving voice. Children tend to respect the voice of the father. Mothers care, fathers train. Children learn more from what they see you do than say. They are watching you, so be at alert. Don’t just condemn them when they are wrong, let them know why it is wrong. Study them. Ask them why they do what they do. Be gentle yet firm.
SHOW LOVE AND AFFECTION: Let them know they always have a hand to fall on when things go bad. Don’t threaten to beat them to death when they fail. They may take it serious and keep their failures or even run away. Always tell them ‘you know daddy loves you’ and show it. Rejoice at their success and tell them how proud you are. Affirm your trust in their success. Give them a positive outlook to life. Build up their faith and confidence. Find time to be alone and discuss with them. Give them a sense of belonging.
BE ALIVE WITH THEM: Share their dreams. Find time to attend programs where they feature in the school, church or other places. Be enthusiastic about it. Tell them how proud you are as their father to see them feature even if they perform woefully. Play together. Crack jokes. Read together. Be interested and physically involved in their school or personal projects. Show concern about their academics, not just to pay their school fees. Take a walk and share dreams together.
SHOW RESPECT TO YOUR WIFE: Children love a father that loves their mother, care for her and assist her. Let the children know you love their mother. Never shout on her in their presence, even when you have disagreement, learn to respect her in their presence.
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